Do You Know A Control Freak?

At various times I have gotten into  heated discussions with someone (usually male) who says that I am a control freak.

Because I tend to acknowledge my faults, I think objectively when someone says this to me since this has been used to describe me on more than one occasion. I even ask my girlfriends about it.

Most of the time they say “You too? My husband and I just had a big fight and he said the same thing!” Then they proceed to tell me the conditions they laid out for their partners the next time they have an argument. Just kidding. Most of my girlfriends are not control freaks.

Nevertheless, I had to think about it, because it’s a running theme for most of the arguments I get into with my husband and we have a good relationship. So when I asked the Lord about it I thought I knew the answer I was going to get.

Me:  “Jesus, am I a control freak?”

The Master’s voice in my heart:  “No.”

Okay.  Well that was unexpected.

Me:  “Why do I seem to get upset at the unexpected and uncomfortable situations that arise?”

The Master’s voice in my heart:  “You want to feel secure, and you can’t because you are afraid of suffering a loss. This happens when you place your trust in your circumstances instead of me.”

That made sense to me. I need to feel secure.  I need to feel safe. I need to feel protected. And it all goes back to trust. If I really trust in the Lord, it doesn’t matter what my circumstances are. I must depend on Him alone for true security.  What I have to learn to do is refocus my insecurity in my circumstances to security in Christ. 

If you love someone, and they seem to be trying to control you or your actions in a way that seems over the top, find out what they are afraid of losing. They may not feel secure in the situation they are in-whether physically or emotionally. You may not be able to fix it. It may not be for you to fix. Depend on the Lord and pray with your loved one.    

Insecurity usually has its root in fear. We all fear losing something or someone. However, when we put our trust in Jesus, we slowly lose the need to fear, and we become more secure.  In Him.

…Perfect love drives out fear… (1 John 4:18)

The Lord is with you always. (Matthew 28:20)



4 thoughts on “Do You Know A Control Freak?”

  1. I decided to keep the content and change the url because I’m finding that people still need some encouragement every now and then. But this time I’m focusing on my journey to health and fitness, which can be an emotional and spiritual challenge for a lot of us. Thank you always for being one of my anchors, Tonya. You are the best. Anyway, it’s

  2. Reblogged this on Tonya Joyner Speaks and commented:
    I was looking for a friend’s blog and discovered it was gone. So I got on the phone to find out what was up. She said her season for blogging was up and that she’d moved on to other things.

    What a timely lesson! Everything wasn’t meant to be forever. Somethings stay longer than others and some things come and go like waves. We must seek The Father to know the difference and how long to endeavor with these things.

    But that’s not what her post was about.
    Her post was about control freaks. I have been labeled one on many occasions. Sometimes it was an accurate label and sometimes the other person was being insecure. But anyway, here’s a great post about how to know if you’re one, how to realize if you’re dealing with one and how to deal with a person who is one (even if it’s you. Shhh…I won’t tell!)

    1. Hey Sis!

      It’s amazing that I’m just reading your comment today. I was getting ready to shut this blog down and start another one. Seeing your comment makes me thank God for friends like you and the knowledge of times and seasons…

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